INFLUENCE OF BIRTH ORDER ON PERSONALITY DEVELOPMENT

We all know that even if a couple has children, none of them will be exactly the same as one another, even though they are twins or triplets. In other words, everyone is one of a kind. Regardless of genetic inheritance, birth order can influence height, weight, behaviour, and personality. Birth order has been framed by many stereotypes or perceptions, such as people believing that the first-born child will be more mature, responsible, and conformist. Younger siblings will have to work harder to get their parents' attention because parents devote more time to their first-born child. Shaping them to be more adventurous and independent, willing to try or accept new things, and creative than their siblings.

Alfred Adler (1870-1937) was an Austrian psychiatrist and psychologist and also the first who proposed a theory that birth order influences personality. Adler developed personality theories that focused on a therapist's need to understand an individual in the context of a social environment. According to Adler, character traits and behaviors are the primary results of developmental issues, which include birth order. (Topness, 2018) However, according to Guarino (2019), birth order influences children only when they are young or at an early stage of personality development; in other words, birth order does not shape an adult's personality. (Guarino, 2019)

Born to Rebel, written by Frank J. Sulloway

Birth Order Theory

The Birth Order Theory was first introduced by Alfred Adler in the 20th century. According to the theory, the order in which a child is born influences their development and personality. Adler also claimed that family, community, and sociological relationships all play a significant role in shaping a child's personality. (D. Bernnan, 2021) Furthermore, an American psychologist, Frank Sulloway, stated in his 1996 book “Born to Rebel” that birth order does have an impact on influencing and shaping children's personalities. He claims that the birth order influences children's creativity and innovation, as well as their thinking, as a result of several internal factors that occur in a household, and that each child develops a unique and different personality from one another. (Sulloway, 1996)

Oldest Child Syndrome

Although Adler's Birth Order Theory has been challenged hundreds of times, a few characteristics stated for oldest, middle, and youngest children remain consistent, and The Oldest Child Syndrome and Middle Child Syndrome are commonly discussed among the community.

The Oldest Child Syndrome is one of the concepts introduced following the Birth Order Theory. Some characteristics assist in the identification of the syndrome, such as the oldest children being the dominant and controlling members of the household, having the eagerness to be constantly perfect, constantly falling under the pressure of their parent's expectations, and so on. (Maruwada, 2021)

The first-born children in the families usually will be ambitious perfectionists. They are confident for a variety of reasons. (Lorenzi, 2015) First, when the first-born baby in the family is the "only child" at the time, the adults are more likely to take the baby seriously. For example, adults will give the baby everything he or she wants and needs and will always seek the best for the baby. The first-born baby will grow accustomed to the adults' attention and care over time. However, according to Memon (2017), when the younger siblings were born, the oldest children began to feel insecure or invaded because the attention they used to receive from adults was 100%, but now it must be divided into several parts. (Memon, 2017) Aside from that, adults may educate the oldest child to be extremely careful of their actions and behaviour because they are the oldest child in their home, and the younger ones will follow what the oldest has done as their role model and example. For example, the adults will always ask the oldest child to assist in educating the younger siblings or helping them in their academics. These actions will indirectly push the oldest children into stress and force them to be perfect.

The first child must be capable of carrying on the family name, as they are usually the ones who will carry it to the next level. Hence, the first child is expected to take on more responsibilities, such as caring for younger siblings or assisting younger siblings with their homework or studies, as well as earning money for the family and assisting with housework. At the same time, they must bring honour and wealth to the family and are banned from doing anything that would make the family ashamed. Most of them are responsible for carrying out the responsibilities, somehow, a small part of them will become more stubborn than the younger ones. In another word, if some of them carried too many responsibilities or power starting from a very young age, they would be more dominant and controlling, such as requesting the other to follow their rules. (Guarino, 2019)

In short, the expectations and responsibilities have caused the oldest child to be a perfectionist while also putting pressure on them to be dominant and controlling.

Middle-child Syndrome

Alfred Adler proposed the theory of middle-child syndrome. According to Bernnan (2021), middle-child syndrome means a child born in the middle or between the oldest and youngest will receive less attention from the parents and will feel "caught in the middle." They never have a firsthand experience like the eldest, and they never take centre stage like the parents' attention-seeking lastborn. (D. Bernnan, 2021) As a result, despite growing up in the same family and with the same parents, the middle child develops different personality traits from the siblings. Experts and the stereotypical community have identified a few common characteristics of middle children.

Firstly, since middle children can’t get the attention they want from their own family, they’ll tend to be more outgoing and sociable. (D. Bernnan, 2021) They will spend more time socialising with friends or working extremely hard to achieve something of personal honour, such as a good grade or excelling in some industry. Secondly, the middle child is typically the most rebellious member of the family. They frequently pick the opposite site as their siblings. In other words, they want to stand out from their siblings to attract their parents’ attention. Some of them will make extreme decisions such as stealing, fighting with classmates, and disobeying their parents because they believe that if they do something wrong, their parents will spend more time caring for or educating them. In short, middle children are willing to do everything to get attention or praise from their parents. Furthermore, the middle children are less family-oriented than their younger siblings. They may have a strong sense that they do not belong in the family or that they do not have the opportunity to request their parents for help or express their feelings at home. Unlike the other siblings, the middle children frequently feel overshadowed. They may even believe that their parents do not care about them. (D. Bernnan, 2021)

Despite the fact that the middle children normally being the rebellious ones in their families, researchers discovered that they'd develop many positive traits at the same time too. For example, such as being peacemakers and empathetic outside the home. Middle children are usually very acceptable, sociable and loyal to their friends. They will also be considerate in the presence of their friends. (Klein, 2020)

How to Overcome

After noticing the children might have the symptoms of this Oldest Child Syndrome and Middle Child Syndrome, a few methods have been found to help to overcome the syndrome. Firstly, according to Hurd (2020), the parents have to make sure to give credit to the oldest child for what they’ve done, no matter good or bad. Due to the oldest children normally having perfectionist attitudes, the parents must try not to put too many expectations on them or try to notice a single little thing that might put them under pressure.

Moreover, parents must ensure that the middle children do not feel left out. It's easier to say than to do; for example, try to understand and communicate with the children. Sometimes, maintaining open communication can prevent a lot of unnecessary misunderstandings. At home, the middle children may be good listeners. Aside from just listening at the side, try to bring the topic to them, encourage them to express themselves more at home, and don't let them feel ignored. (Voo, 2021) When the middle children achieve something, tell them that their accomplishments are also worthy of celebration.

Most importantly, according to a study conducted by Hertwig and his colleagues in 2002, parents should play fairly and equally, and understand each child's needs and personality. Spend quality parental time alone with each child, and allocate equitable parental investment to each child. (Hertwig et al., 2002) For example, bring them to have fun and make them feel valuable, and instead of sending only one child to tuition class, why not send all of them to tuition or talent classes? Besides, according to Maruwada (2021), the oldest children must be spoken to in a casual and friendly manner in order for them to understand that, despite the existence of their younger siblings, their parents still love them equally. Meanwhile, parents must instil in their middle and younger children that they are also being loved equally, just every child must be treated differently depending on each child's personality and talent.

There’s one Chinese idiom saying, “hold a bowl of water level”, which means a person should be fair and square in handling matters. The same goes for parents, every child should be treated fair during their childhood. (Dong, 2020)

Finally, when one child receives parental care while another does not, jealousy develops in this being left-out child. The jealous child will put lots of effort to get the parents’ attention such as working hard to get good grades so the parents will praise him, indirectly putting himself under pressure. If the child doesn’t receive the attention he wants, he will feel he’s unwanted or unneeded in the family or thinks that he didn’t put enough effort or might do wrong things so the parents will scold them and put attention to him. That is why parents should not be biassed; all children should be treated equally, and every effort should be made to keep the family in harmony, love, and peace.

FUNDAMENTALS OF PSYCHOLOGY

Done By: YUKI CHO YUNG KEE

17th July 2022

Sources/ References

Bernnan, D., MD. (2021, June 28). What to Know About Birth Order. WebMD. Retrieved July 15, 2022, from https://www.webmd.com/parenting/what-to-know-about-birth-order

Bernnan, D., MD. (2021, October 25). What to Know About Middle-Child Syndrome. WebMD. Retrieved July 12, 2022, from https://www.webmd.com/mental-health/what-to-know-middle-child-syndrome

Dong, J. (2020, May 26). 一课译词：一碗水端平. Language.chinadaily.com.cn. Retrieved July 15, 2022, from http://language.chinadaily.com.cn/a/202005/26/WS5ecccf4ba310a8b241158971.html

Guarino, B. (2019, March 14). Birth order may not shape personality after all. The Washington Post. Retrieved July 4, 2022, from https://www.washingtonpost.com/science/2019/03/14/birth-order-doesnt-shape-personality-after-all/

Hertwig, R., Davis, J. N., & Sulloway, F. J. (2002). Parental investment: How an equity motive can produce inequality. Psychological Bulletin, 128(5), 728–745. Retrieved July 4, 2022, from https://doi.org/10.1037/0033-2909.128.5.728

Hurd, S. (2020). 7 Signs of Oldest Child Syndrome and How to Get Over It - Learning Mind. Www.learning-Mind.com. Retrieved July 14, 2022, from https://www.learning-mind.com/oldest-child-syndrome-signs-overcome/

Klein, Y. (2020, August 12). Is Middle Child Syndrome Real? Evolve Treatment Centers. Retrieved July 12, 2022, from https://evolvetreatment.com/blog/middle-child-syndrome/

Lorenzi, N. (2015, June 11). How Birth Order Shapes Personality. Parents; Parents. Retrieved July 14, 2022, from https://www.parents.com/baby/development/sibling-issues/how-birth-order-shapes-personality/

Maruwada, M. (2021, December 13). 8 Signs Of Oldest Child Syndrome And How To Deal With It. MomJunction. Retrieved July 14, 2022, from https://www.momjunction.com/articles/oldest-child-syndrome-characteristics-signs_00792072/#what-is-oldest-child-syndrome

Memon, M. (2017, July 21). Older Child Syndrome. Magazine. Retrieved July 14, 2022, from https://germmagazine.com/older-child-syndrome/

Sulloway, F. J. (1996). Born to rebel : birth order, family dynamics, and creative lives. Abacus. Retrieved July 14, 2022.

Topness, E. S. (2018, December 18). Healthfully. Healthfully. Retrieved July 12, 2022, from https://healthfully.com/adlers-birth-order-theory-4025224.html

Voo, J. (2021, July 21). Middle Child Syndrome: Everything You Need to Know. Parents. Retrieved July 14, 2022, from https://www.parents.com/parenting/better-parenting/style/10-tips-for-parenting-middle-children/

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